This is from Tribunal Leader "T.W.", a favorite in the group. The "T" in her pseudonym's initials is related to drinking... many of her postings have to do with her drunken escapades, and she' s keeping the site balanced. lol We consider her a pretty decent judge of who should go to The Island based on how she's been treating her own dates lately... which is in turn based on how guys have treated her. She should have her own Island, if we're being honest - I would know, I'm there for many of her antics. lol Anyway, my comments are in yellow.
~S.M.
~S.M.
Let me start by saying, I've been effed over enough times to have strongly defined "bitch boundaries". (I love that...why don't I come up with these terms?) I also think I am usually the "guy" in my relationships, and somehow end up dating overly sensitive Nancies, which is a major turn-off for me. I had my first date with Chester a couple months ago at a minor league baseball game.
S.M. was all for this particular Chester, (I'm so sorry... Not for you, for him!) and urged me to stay sober for this date. (I hate dating, and tend to get drunk on first dates. This gives me a false sense of interest, and gets me roped into a second date. When the following date happens, I usually realize the guy was frankly a little blech, so I get drunk on that date out of misery). (Hence my advice. But maybe she's on to something.) So I stayed sober, at least sober enough to know I liked him and wouldn't mind going out with him again. We had a couple dinner dates, accompanied by a few hardcore make out sessions. At this point I still liked him, but kept waiting for "the turnoff".
I forgot to mention he lived in his parents basement. In his defense, he's in grad school, and about to start a PhD program, plus I have a thing for guys who live with their parents :) (We do NOT share the same turnoffs lol) Anyway, we're getting comfortable with each other, and at this he's come over to my apartment a couple times to hang out, which of course you know translates into hooking up on the couch, strictly PG-13. (On the couch I always sleep on when I crash at her place... NOT COOL T.W.) And now that I'm looking back, I'm realizing this all happened in about a week, maybe 10 days. Way to take it slow, T.W. haha. (I told you so =P)
Well, this is where I started to lose interest. He invited me over for dinner at his parents house...with his parents there! I don't know about you, but I don't run around introducing guys to my parents unless we've been seriously dating for at least 6 months. Maybe that's just me, but I am NOT interested in meeting anyone's parents (at least in an official capacity) after one week. (It's not just you lol) Well, I tend to blow small things out of proportion, and write guys off for no good reason, and I didn't want to do that this time. So I pretended he never invited me to dinner, and decided to move forward in our "relationship." (I was proud. For about one more week.)
I mentioned earlier he was about to enter into a PhD program; he was super smart, and kind of geeky. I don't mind geeky, and I prefer to date someone on the same intellectual level, so I found this appealing. At first. After the whole dinner incident, little things started to annoy the SH*T out of me. (LOL I heard about this crap twice a day until the end... He got pretty bad.) For example, he would constantly talk about his research papers in detail that a normal person wouldn't be able to understand. At first I thought this was kind of cute, but after a while it seemed to be more arrogant than anything else. Maybe it was the bitch boundaries taking over, but the little things, turned into most things, then EVERYTHING he did turned me off.
I mentioned earlier he was about to enter into a PhD program; he was super smart, and kind of geeky. I don't mind geeky, and I prefer to date someone on the same intellectual level, so I found this appealing. At first. After the whole dinner incident, little things started to annoy the SH*T out of me. (LOL I heard about this crap twice a day until the end... He got pretty bad.) For example, he would constantly talk about his research papers in detail that a normal person wouldn't be able to understand. At first I thought this was kind of cute, but after a while it seemed to be more arrogant than anything else. Maybe it was the bitch boundaries taking over, but the little things, turned into most things, then EVERYTHING he did turned me off.
This is where I come off like the bad guy, and to be honest I kind of did Chester dirty. (This is true... I felt kind of bad for him...) He knew I was moving to a new house the next weekend ,and continuously offered to help, even if it meant just bringing pizza by for dinner. He was actually a REALLY nice guy. As I'm writing this I'm realizing he could be writing this story about me for the ex-girlfriend island, if one exists haha.(See? We really need to make this place official btw...) Well I decided my best course of action was to just ignore his texts and phone calls that week, and just tell him I was busy with work and the move. That weekend after I moved, I finally had to answer his billionth phone call. He asked if he could "book me for dinner," which was actually kind of cute now that I'm thinking about it, but at the time I was disgusted with his terminology... I truly am cold-hearted. I told him I would have to call him back, then text him later to say I didn't want to go to dinner.
At this point S.M. is begging me to just tell him I don't want to date him anymore, but insisted this could only be done via phone call or in person. (The poor guy deserved that much!) Well, me being me, I decided that by texting him I didn't want to go to dinner, he would likely reply with a "why", which would segway a justifiable "breaking up" via text. S.M. did NOT see it this way. In my defense, I never thought of him as my boyfriend, although I am fairly certain he thought of me as his girlfriend. (Yeah, it's called "leading them on" lol) I would also prefer a break up over text: IMO, it's less awkward and doesn't hurt as much. At least I think so... I never had it happen to me. (Nice...)
Back to the texting - he does NOT respond with a "why" but with an "OK", and that just irritated the crap out of me. My response was as follows, "I know this is a sh***y thing to say over text, but I'm a sh***y person : I don't think we should date anymore." (lol God, T.W....) I had butterflies in my stomach the whole time, I hate awkward situations! After about five minutes he responded with "yes, that is a sh***y thing to say over text." I decided to just accept that and leave things alone. I did what I had to do, and now I'm done, and won't have to deal with him anymore.
WRONG! 30 minutes later he calls me! If someone sent me that via text, there is no way I would call them, unless maybe we had dated seriously for a long period of time. Remember, we dated casually for only 2 weeks. I of course ignore his phone call ,and go out drinking to make myself feel better about being a sh***y person. Later that night he calls again, and I again ignore the call. This time he leaves a voicemail.... apologizing to me for being angry about my text! Grow some b***s, dude! (ROTF... Okay, this is where I started to see it from her POV... I still felt bad, but yeah. He was definitely the chick in the relationship.) This just reminded me why I didn't like him anymore: he's a pushover and can't stand up for himself!
WRONG! 30 minutes later he calls me! If someone sent me that via text, there is no way I would call them, unless maybe we had dated seriously for a long period of time. Remember, we dated casually for only 2 weeks. I of course ignore his phone call ,and go out drinking to make myself feel better about being a sh***y person. Later that night he calls again, and I again ignore the call. This time he leaves a voicemail.... apologizing to me for being angry about my text! Grow some b***s, dude! (ROTF... Okay, this is where I started to see it from her POV... I still felt bad, but yeah. He was definitely the chick in the relationship.) This just reminded me why I didn't like him anymore: he's a pushover and can't stand up for himself!
I know, I know, I was a total bitch to Chester, and he had no idea what he was getting into... but I've been burned way more than my share of times, and this is what I have become. (Monster! LOL) For the record, I do feel bad about the way things went down with Chester, but I can't change what I did, only what I will DO - and sadly I feel like I will do this again. Sorry, Chester.
~T.W.
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